Sleep deprived

I don’t know where my ideas come from. I will admit, however, that one key ingredient is caffeine. I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen – Gary Larson


Oh hell yes! I have to confess that i have been sleep deprived since i don’t know when. I used to have sleeping problems since high school, it was worsen during uni time and working does not improve that condition either.

On the normal day I am so used to caffeine booster. This means a double-triple-quadruple dose of coffee and Starbucks has been my a great help – well, my working site always have Starbucks nearby, sooo…. Here’s what my coffee regime used to look like since 6 years ago:

  • Morning (between 8 – 10 am): Iced tall red eye with 2 pumps classic syrup
  • Lunch time (between 1 – 2 pm): Iced tall red eye with 2 pumps classic syrup
  • Afternoon (between 3 – 5 pm): Iced tall red eye with 2 pumps classic syrup
  • Night (between 7 – 9 pm): Iced tall red eye with 2 pumps classic syrup

For those wondering what the hell is a “red eye”, it is actually iced coffee with additional espresso shots. So normally your espresso shots are steamed with water. In my version, it is rinsed in coffee – imagine the amount of caffeine intake I used to get on a daily basis.

Used to? Yes! Used to! Not so long ago – end of July 2013 – i found out that i was pregnant. According to google, wikipedia and all that, taking caffeine is bad for your unborn child (which includes small baby weight, premature birth and worse – miscarriage), so i had to lessen my caffeine intake. That means, stopping coffee altogether and switching to tea. Tea? I thought tea has certain amount of caffeine too? Yes, that’s true – but it is lesser than the amount of caffeine in coffee. I did cheat by taking decaffeinated coffee, but hell – it tasted strange, i’d rather not take it at all.

Kyna was born on March 2014, but my struggle continued as i am breastfeeding. Rumor has it that coffee goes to your breastmilk, so if i drink coffee, chances are the caffeine will go into the milk as well.

According to my research, that means:

  1. Kyna will be hyper because of the caffeine (duh! I don’t need that really, because she’s already a squirmy little bug!)
  2. Her delicate tummy might not be able to digest the caffeine

Bearing all those in mind, i shit you not, I have not drank caffeinated coffee for almost 11 months (that reads celibacy for me *insert crying face here*). Coffee used to help to stay focus especially without enough sleep, and with it taken off from my dietary regime, I’m suffering!

Are there any ways to still drink caffeinated coffee without tampering breastmilk? I must be dreaming here 😦


The power of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks – James Mackintosh


Kyna the sleepyhead – not really!

Dear Kyna,
You are already 2.5 months! While you used to be a sound sleeper, your sleep pattern has become a bit more challenging to deal with. So does your sleeping positions.

Sleeping Pattern
Back when you were a few weeks old, all you would do was sleeping, crying, peeing, pooping and feeding. Well, you’re still doing all of the above, plus laughing and screaming. Sleeps and naps took approximately 18 hours a day.
Back in those days mommy could get enough sleep despite you waking up at night asking for milk, mommy can actually have some spare time to do online shopping, and work (yes I occassionally open my laptop and work during my maternity leave).

It’s a whole lot of different stories now. You might be very cranky throughout the morning and the afternoon, slept from 5pm to 1am, woke up to defecate and sleep again until 6 am. On the other occasion, you slept in the morning, slept in the afternoon, slept in the evening and finally woke up at 9pm and refused to sleep until 3am!! Hahah.. Mommy has to sing you lullabies, rocks you and carries you around, chat and laugh with you and both of us will fall into exhaustion the next day 🙂
Anyway I’m lucky enough because your lullabies are not necessarily for babies, you could look at me in full serene if I sing. Any song! From linkin park to maroon 5 to goo goo dolls and even limp bizkit sometimes! The only problem is you wans me to carry you the entire time *back pain alert* As you get closer to 3 months, you know how to laugh, how to respond to tickles and sometimes you scream in joy 🙂 those nights are the moments that I treasure..

Sleeping Positions
We don’t have nursery room, so your grandparents bought you a baby box – of course for yoy to sleep in – but you have a bit of a sleeping problem. Your involuntary movements constantly wake you up and you’ll cry and scream. Hence, you sleep with us and baby box becomes changing station hahaha. Here are your favorite positions:
1. Sleeping on your side with mommy’s hand on top of her – yes, this is to contain involuntary hand movement that could wake you up.
2. Sleeping on your tummy – you could have a sound uninterrupted sleep of up to 6 hours.
3. Sleeping on mommy’s chest – and you’ll drool all over me.
4. Sleeping on mommy’s arms – when you’re very cranky, you refused to sleep on your pillow and bolsters. Mommy had to let you sleep with your head on top of my upper arm and your face positioned facing my chest – leaving me with numb upper arm afterwards.
5. Sleeping inside the boba wrap – since you turned 2 months, I discovered that you love the hug hold / kangaroo hold when you’re being carried arround. My cheeky little rascal actually clings to me all the time. My wrist can’t take it, so mommy got the boba wrap. It works wonder with you – you fall asleep under 15 minutes in the wrap (versus the average of 1 hour without it).

Cute little bug!