Dear kyna,
Let me tell you a story about managing expectations.
Today i failed an interview for a role in a project. It hits me hard on my ego.
My parents raised me to become a role model for my brothers. I had to be successful, had to align to certain stereotypes that are bestowed upon me as the first-born. It was difficult, sure i rebelled and had a few fall-outs but at the end of the day i have always worked towards achieving something in my life.
Be it top 5 of the class, admitted into respectable high school, getting accepted into the best university, graduated early with cum laude, working in a very reputable company and so on.
I’ve been carrying a very high standard for myself. In work, i don’t settle for “consistent ” – that’s a sign of a so so performance in my company ; means you don’t work your ass off, you don’t stand out from the crowd, people don’t know who you are.
Likewise, my clients commanded me for my good job, i always passed my interview for project’s roles (well.. With a few note about my driving attitude – we’ll talk about it in other letter). The point is, I’m a high performer and i have a very high expectations for myself.
Coming back to the opening, i failed an interview today. The client was looking for a specific requirement and i wasn’t the perfect fit. I was upset – it hits me hard in my ego! This is not normal for me and i had to time stamp it.
Please bear in mind, given the nature of my upbringing, i too will have a high set of expectations for you. I love you and i want you to be successful in life. For that to happen, i might be required to push you to the limit, to force you do things you don’t like for your own sake, i want you to have a high performing mentality, be it at playground, kindergarten, school, university, and work.
I want you to be competitive and constantly ask yourself, “is this the best way to do it”. I want you to uphold these values that i hold dear.
However, i don’t want you to inherit my cockiness, my inability to accept defeat, and my grandiose ego.
I want you to be able to face rejection or defeat in a graceful way. I don’t know how to teach you this yet, because I’m still learning myself. But i promise we’ll work it out before you enter kindergarten heheh..
I’m still pissed though – let me vent my anger elsewhere hahah..
Love,
Mommy
Letters to Kyna 